Women Who Don’t Trust Each Other

December 28, 2007

It is typical in a patriarchal society that women are isolated from one another and learn to put their trust in men first. Sisters are set against sisters, as the priveleges and perks of the system are in the control of those "on top," creating a scarcity of love, recognition, attention, support.

Some women are in easier positions than others, depending upon the men they are connected to, and sometimes women of privilege feel they are already liberated, and wonder what all the fuss is about. Usually they don’t become feminists unless they experience oppression directly and become awakened to the nature of the system…

The lack of continuity and trust between sisters is an obvious sign that something is amiss. But it’s not our fault that we were born into an arrangement designed to keep us apart. True, lots of sisters who have no politics and no feminism do get together anyway… for "innocent" activities like coffee clatches or the yaya sisterhood. In older times it was quilting parties and sewing bees.

Interestingly, such gatherings have become radicalized over time, as women come up against things like rape, abuse, lower salaries, fewer job options, and so on. Some women wake up as they age, and discover what happens to older women.

In any case it’s understandable that we have little trust for sisters. In an enslaving society, sisters can take on what feminists call "the traits of victimization"… or "horizontal oppression," where we turn against one another, compete, are jealous, backbiting, gossiping, scapegoating, excluding, and so on.

All of these behaviours, usually with little awareness of the larger pattern that put us there, are part of the design to keep us apart and disempowered.

Trust is not automatic in the best of circumstances. This is something that must be built and earned. I pray that sisters will trust me, but I know that it takes time and the repetition of deeds that show I walk my talk, mean what I say, and am sincere in my advocating sisterhood. I have had sisters turn away from me many many times in my life, so I too need time to build trust. "By their fruits ye shall know them" is a good concept. :0)

I hope we can keep dialoguing about these things and that others in the circle will put their thoughts and feelings in too…


From Moonspell Library

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